How To Spend a Great Day On WTF China- You Need know

For the past 6 weeks, I’ve explored China from top to bottom, however, there were many things I couldn’t get used to that plain and simple just made me say or think “WTF.” So I am calling this the WTF list, and I’m sure I’ll have one of these for every country. I know it’s not politically correct, but really I don’t care, the list isn’t exhaustive and in no particular order but here goes nothing.

  • Red beans – They put them in everything, tea, bread, cookies, I probably shouldn’t really complain about this given the amount of other weird things this country eats, but I just don’t get it.
  • People sleeping everywhere – McDonalds, at their shops, on the metro, people just seem to be sleeping anywhere and everywhere possible. I even met an Aussie whose goal was to scare every person he saw sleeping and make them jump, he wasn’t successful by the time we parted ways.
  • Men carrying purses – It may be the lady’s purse, but the man is doing the dirty work carrying it around. Elder, please take note.
  • The government wants to let you know they are in power, but don’t seem to do much – Police are on every corner, but I never saw them lift a finger. At one point they asked us to move our bikes, we refused because there was nowhere else to move them and they clearly just wanted to let us know they were in charge, after about 5 minutes they just left. I never even put my bag through customs and they didn’t seem to care.
  • Gutter Oil – The street food is delicious, but apparently the reason most foreigners get sick is because street venders chose to use this cheap version of the oil, which is basically reprocessed oil that has been collected from restaurants, and well quite literally the gutter hence the name… WTF
  •  Holidays and the government – Once again the government likes to show whose boss, by literally change the dates of holidays. Last year they moved Chinese New Year to a different week, just because. Additionally if the holiday falls on a Tuesday, you get Tuesday off and then have to work that Saturday. How’s that for a holiday, and I thought it was bad at corporate America.
  • Buying a house – When you buy a house, you are only leasing it from the government for 75 years. No one knows what happens after that because it hasn’t been 75 years since the law was enacted.
  • Bodily functions – This was one of the first things I noticed in this country, with babies pooping and peeing everywhere, men and women hacking loogies left and right, and snot rockets flying about. It’s so bad that government has even launched campaigns to try and get people act in a decent manner.
  • The Great Chinese Firewall – The government is at it again, blocking anything useful on the internet, I am not just talking Facebook, but many news sites, and anything that could potentially create a counter image of China. They have hired 2 million people to monitor and block ‘unfit’ websites.
  • Jobs – Everywhere you go, there are people working, but seem to be doing nothing. I guess at least they are employed. Rumor has it, that shops are required to employee x amount of people based on the square footage of the store.
  • Metro Stations – The metro is awesome in China, but people are so pushy here, they literally have guards that have to let people on and off the metro because it’s such a clusterfuck all the time.
  • No toilet paper or napkins – You just have to bring your own, which is a royal pain in the ass…
  • Everyone is cutting in line – I mean everyone, and no one stops anyone, this drove me f*caking nuts. I never had the guts to do it myself, but I might as well have, no one seemed to care. The one thing people lined up for, was at the bus stop. I was so confused, everywhere else it was just a mob of people.
  • Pedestrians don’t have the right of way – You better watch where you walk because they have no problem hitting you with their car if you are in their way. As one guy explained it,  cars wouldn’t get anywhere if they always let people cross, it’s probably true, but still made me think WTF.
  • Everyone seems to be yelling and making noise – When they talk on their phones or anywhere, they always amplify their voice, I have no idea why. I really don’t want to hear your conversation let alone you screaming. There was even a guy that thought it was appropriate to play the flute on the train at 6am..
  • Not using headphones – People just seem to think we all want to listen their music, or hear their game on their phone.
  • No one seems to help others – Everyone seems to be on a mission. I once saw a lady fall down and no one stopped, it was only a police officer that came over and offered her help. Apparently they don’t have a good Samaritan law and people are afraid of getting involved.
  • Taking pics with oreigners and just staring – They love taking pictures with Westerns, and just staring at you as well…
  • Coke finger nails – The men have one disgustingly long finger nail, I know they are not doing coke (ok not really) because there is no way the country can afford that much. I was told this was to prove they don’t do manual labor, apparently its also considered attractive if you have a bit of a belly…
  • All the same shops are in one place – If you want anything, you pretty much need to figure out what street it is on because otherwise you’ll be stuck on the shoe street, looking for electronics. You will find 10-15 of the same type of shop selling the exact same thing. I guess it’s an old marketing technique, but if you want something and don’t know where that street is, my thoughts generally just turned to WTF.
  • There is a name for everything -This more in terms of geographic features, but guides always point out the monkey rock, or the elephant or I don’t really give a sh*t what you call it. It drove me nuts. Nothing can just be a pretty site, it has to have a name.

Alright that is all I can think of for now, but I just thought I would share my thoughts on China. Good thing I’m not in the country while I’m posting this, I’m sure they would love to block it.

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